Lessons Learned

It was a beautiful day...Sunday turned out to be sunny and hot. I haven't run in "hot" this year yet and it showed. The course was much more rooted and rocky than I remembered it being. I twisted my ankle pretty good at about 8 or 9 miles in, of course just as I was starting to hit my stride again after a particularly difficult section that involved scrambling over a waterfall and some other ups and downs that were totally unrunnable. I finished, but I did very poorly by my estimates...here's why -

1. Dehydration

I did not adequately hydrate before or during the race. I don't have a water pack (CamelBack) but I'm getting one now (it's already on order). I've been out of this long distance running thing for so long that I've forgotten how to adequately plan for these things. There was no aid station for the first 17k and I ran out of water after about 6 or 7 miles probably.

2. Panicking

I panicked and gave up after twisting my ankle. It seemed like a bad one at the time so rightfully so I just thought of getting back to the start (the course was run on a figure-8 pattern with the start/finish at the center of the two loops). But I didn't mentally recover when my ankle DID get better. I should have started running again, I would have felt better. But then I transferred my panic to the fact that I didn't have any water. Looking back now it seems stupid...but I wasn't sure where I was and I was afraid of getting into trouble.

3. Being too hard on myself

Feeling like a total looser because I was going slower and slower and that my finish was way down low near the bottom of the list when I know that I can do much, much better. I did push ahead and finish...and I ran out of water again on the second loop! I only had a 20 oz. hip pack bottle...but obviously that is NOT enough anymore - hence the water pack that I'm anxiously waiting for. I haven't seen these trails in years...I shouldn't have expected so much. I do sooo much better on trails that I know well. So if I want to really excel at a race it has to be on trails that I've scouted out already, at least.

I was so angry with myself initially that I wanted to quit entirely. Hell, it'd be a lot easier to sleep 2 hours more in the mornings and just forget all of this. But then I thought about all of those great quotes that Olga had on her blog. I thought of this one especially-

What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first step to something better.
- Wendell Phillips

So I'm going to stop being such a big baby and get on with it now. And do things smarter. Onward, upward and better.

Ouch!

I had a back spasm that sidelined me for a day back on Monday. I stayed home from work too, which was glorious. I went to the chiropractor and 95$ later I felt much better. I only missed a day of running, but I'm supposed to be tapering anyway. And I am.

The next race is a 25k on Sunday. It's really a run through race for mileage and part of the build up for Diablo. I'm anxious to try out my POSE on it and see how my hill running has improved. This morning my run was the smoothest it's been since I've started POSEing...things are starting to feel natural to me now. And I keep getting faster - my min/mile average on my morning run was 8:06 I think.

And yay! The weather is supposed to be beautiful on Sunday! So I won't have to worry about bundling up and can just run in a shorts and a singlet. Yippee!

Good luck to everyone who is doing ZG this weekend.

Here I Am

I usually hate pictures of myself, but here I am in the kitchen before a run. Camera is on the counter.

Gettin' Faster!


Whooo Hooo! I just checked out my iPodicle running thingy because I KNEW I had some fast miles at the end of yesterday's morning run. I found a 6:52 min/mile. Yeehaw! This POSE thing is really helping me out afterall. And my overall run averages are in the 8-8:30 min/mile for whole runs. Here's to keepin' that up, and the training and remaining injury free.

A Little Sore, but ....

Still working on the POSE method. It's going better now. For a while there I had myself all in knots thinking TOO much about form. But I think I'm finally reaping the benefits of my hard work. My calves are still a bit tight from the change in stride (I have to remember to keep stretching and to massage out the knots with my massage stick!).

I had a great run at Wunderlich on Sunday even though it was pretty hot out there. Luckily most of my Wunderlich run is in the shade of the redwoods....ahhhhh! I did about 13 miles. Every time I run there on Sundays I will stretch it out a mile and slowly inch my way over to Huddart Park on the connecting Skyline Trail. Movin' up that mileage, ever so sloooowwwly.

Congrats to Catra & Leslie on their awesome Diablo 50m runs! I was thinking good thoughts for both of you on that day. And Happy Birthday to Angie! (Good Luck at Zane Grey!).

Rolling Along Again

Hello everyone! I've been super buzy at work, and it's really hard for me to post from there. It's going better. It's just so different than my previous job.

I've been keeping up and extending the miles. Today I ran 11.5 miles in Wunderlich. Very hilly and beautiful. I loooove it there. I got rained on a bit on the way back down, but it hardly mattered at all.

I've been studying and implementing the POSE method of running. Wow, it's tough to radically change your style but even in it's imperfect stylings at the moment I've taken MINUTES off of some of my usual runs. A run that used to take me about 43 minutes now takes me 39. And I feel really different - the muscle soreness is much less after long runs. And when I'm running, when I do hit the sweet spot of the POSE method it just feels like I'm floating along. I'm at the point now that I can't revert to my old style, but I'm not perfect at POSE yet. But this is a good point - I'm improving and I've shed my old bad habits. Happily POSE makes running uphill much easier.

Anyway, on my run today at Wunderlich I saw about 5 deer including cute little spotted fawns. A vole sorta little creature, and the biggest gray squirrel I've ever seen. I thought he was a fox at first crossing the trail. And banana slugs, of course.

Twisted Ankles and Other Irritants



Last Saturday as I was returning to the start of the trail at Edgewood Park, I sprained my ankle. Ugh. It's still kinda swollen and black and blue. I'm running on it anyway.



I started a new job this week. I'm less than thrilled, but I it's just a bus stop on the road of life. It's a copywriting job, with management responsibilities. The culture is a bit backward for the Silicon Valley, no telecommuting and such. Not great for the working mother. But I’ll do my best as long as I’m here. I’ll try and change things for the better. But when something better comes along – I’m gone. I’m keeping my options open.

I may want to do something else entirely different. I was thinking about massage therapy and physical training. Something to research!
I’ve been running well since my ankle stopped being totally blue! I’m even getting out for a trail run after work today!

iPod Fun

I'm not big on lots of gadgets, I feel like they can be distracting, but I've been having fun with my iPod Nano. I finally busted out the Nike iPod connector doodad that I've had for over a month but have been too lazy to use since I thought that the set up would be horrendous. Well it wasn't - true I'm using the standard calibration but it seems to be pretty close to acurate for me. I used it on a hilly loop at Rancho yesterday and I think that it calibrated it pretty close to the actual miles/minutes per mile. I did almost 6 hilly miles at about 10:10 pace. I chugged up the switchbacks and bombed the downhills so I'm pretty sure that's about right.

I'll try it out around town today and let ya know how it does there.

Thursday March 13th


10 Mile Revelations



I did a 10 miler today on Sawyer Camp Trail. The weather was perfect for running, being slightly overcast as I started out, changing to intermittent sunshine later on. I always like seeing the sun! And it was just a bit cool, very pleasant to run in.


I told myself that I was going to run this s-l-o-w-l-y so that I wouldn't be out of gas at mile 7. So I started out running about a 10 minute mile. I soooo wanted to speed up when and old guy passed me! But I had to remind myself that he probably wasn't running nearly as far as I was. Sure enough I could tell that he had turned at about the 2.5 mile mark for a 5 miler.


I've had a wierd discomfort in my right ankle/achilles that is not an outright pain, but definitely not a good thing. I was a little worried about running far out on this out-and-back trail and blowing out my achilles or something and and having to limp all the way back. So at about the 3.5 mile mark by the Jepson laurel tree I really put my mind to my body to take stock of what was going on with it. After concentrating awhile on my ankle, I realized that I'd been clenching my foot. As I was running, I was subconciously trying to hold my arch up in fear of overpronating. Later I also figured out that I was using my right foot far too much in the pushing off -- probably still doing that to protect my right leg that is a bit weaker than my left after I broke it a few years back. I bet this all is contributing to my left hip being tight too. So I concentrated on relaxing my foot and using more of my leg. Soon that wierd feeling my achilles went away.

I was feeling pretty good now and my iPod was kicking out Metalica's "Fuel" So I sped up. I haven't seen this part of this trail in a very long time. The trees envelope the trail like a tunnel and ferns grown the hillside to my left and a swamp has formed on the right side of the trail from the copious rains we've had this winter. I cruised comfortably to the 5 mile mark and the turnaround.

I paused there and had a GU and some liquid. It was quiet and lovely with dappled sunlight showing through the trees.

Going back the miles rolled away pretty easily until about mile 8. By then my foot/ankle felt great because the rest of me was too fatigued to do any kind of foot clenching. I was clearly too chipper and fleet-footed from mile 4 to 7 as the wheels were coming off now. I slogged it back in to the trail head, doing a little bit of a run walk but still feeling quite satisfied with my effort, even though it wasn't quite even. It'll get better with time and miles.

Wednesday, March 12th


Edgewood Park


Well, instead of driving all the way down to Rancho I went to Edgewood Park....which is about a 10-15 minute drive away. I'll reserve Rancho for the big long runs, today I should only do a 5'er or so.

I haven't been to Edgewood in a long time. I forgot how pretty it can be, especially in the springtime. Things were green and gorgeous with a few early wildflowers, and much if the early trail which climbs through oak forest switchbacks is like a fairy land; a green tunnel of trees, moss and ferns.

Fairy tunnels!

Upper Meadow

When I got to the top I checked out the views from this beautiful green meadow. Then it took me forever to find the trails that I wanted to take back down because there was a trail not listed on the map that was fouling things up for me. I ended up going on a loop and coming right back to the meadow again. Which was okay, but a bit frustrating. So I headed off in another direction to connect up with the Sylvan Trail to get back down again. I probably did more than 5 miles with the mix up. But who's counting???

Little Lizard

Tuesday's Trails

I think I'll go down to Rancho and run some sort of loop on the Wildcat Canyon Trail. I need to cheer myself up.

And I won't get a chance to run the trails during the week once I start my new job. Thank goodness I managed to get some time off in between gigs. I'm a little scared because I think I DON'T want to start this new job. I'm a little afraid of it. And I wonder if I shouldn't be doing something totally different, if the copywriting part of my life is over and I should be doing something else. But what is it? I'd love to do something related to my trail running, outside in the woods...but what am I qualified for now? Now that I'm in my late 30's and have been doing the copywriting internet thing for so long.

I just heard one of the cats upchucking in the kitchen. Why do they all do that? And at the worst times. I just don't even want to go over there and see that whomever barfed managed to barf on a rug and not on the 90% of the kitchen that has easy clean linoleum. Yes. getting out of the house would be the best thing for me today.

RIP Matt


One of my favorite coworkers from the job that I just left died yesterday tragically in a car on bike accident. He was a talented cyclist who had just won a race that he was really gunning for. I'm saddened and shocked by his way, way too early leaving of this earth.

The Story


Live every day as if it were your last. Enjoy your friends and family and let them all know how much you love them. Go for your dreams and live with no regrets.

Wunderlich Park



Thursday, March 6th



A very close second to Rancho San Antonio for me is Wunderlich. It's hilly, but somehow for me it's not too brutal. I guess it has just the right amount of ups and downs. I love the variety of little ecosystems that you can run through on a single run -- there are oak forests, meadows, redwood forests and some of the non-native eucalyptus too.



I did 5 miles on Friday. I was trying to take it a little easy because I've been runnin' pretty hard on the hills and I don't want to overdo it. I started out a little sore. The hills seemed easier than they were last time I ran here. A good sign! And all of my soreness went away! I felt better afterwards than I did before. Another beautiful run.


(pictures to come...blogger isn't uploading them right now for some reason)

Rancho San Antonio

I love this place! This is one of my favorite places to run. There are many long trails and loops to do, the terrain is hilly and varied and the wildlife is fantastic. I see some form of wildlife every single time I go out here.

The most exciting wildlife encounter I've had at Rancho was with a bobcat a few years ago. She came sauntering down the trail towards me, I stopped and stood quietly in my spot. She walked right up to me and passed by me, almost close enough to brush my leg. I spoke quietly to her and she gave me very calm "kitty eyes" back. She then stepped off the trail and into the field next to it. She was so beautiful. It makes me feel good to know that creatures like her still live near us and continue their natural lives.

My 3/4 run at Rancho was fantastic. The weather was a perfect, sunny, 70 degrees. The recent rains have turned the hills of Rancho green and the creeks are full of cool rushing water. About 1/2 down the Rogue Trail in the valley I encountered a group of eight deer. I stopped in the trail and watched them crash through the creek and shrubbery at the north side of the trail, cross behind me over the trail, and leap up the hillside towards the switchbacks of the Wildcat Loop Trail.

I also saw bunnies munching on the grass along the Rogue Trail.

At the end of the Rogue Valley I saw this big tree down. A remnant of some of the crazy storms we had late this winter.

Happily my ascent on the Upper Rogue Valley Trail was easier than I expected. I guess all of that hill running that I've been doing is really getting me fitter. I haven't run here in a while, and I remembered this portion of the trail as being longer and harder. This was a big confidence booster.

Next I turned right to head up the High Meadow Trail. I have to admit that I did a good amount of dwadling up here. The warm sun, the views and the solitude did my spirit good, so I wanted to suck it all up. I thought about my former coworkers and how they were stuck in their offices right now! I was so happy to be able to take advantage of my time off and the perfect weather to get stronger, fitter and soak in nature. I'd forgotten how difficult the very last part of this trail is. Just before it intersects with the PG&E trail at the very top by the vista point the Upper Meadow Trail becomes completely unrunnable. It's steep climb forced me to switchback it at a hiking pace. At the top I encountered this curious sign and an unmarked trailhead. I wonder where it goes to? If anyone knows, please tell me so that I don't have to find out for myself!

The vegetation was much thicker than I remembered going down the PG&E trail. I was getting tired so all of the little uphills inbetween the big screaming descents were just killing me. I encountered lots of people who were totally overdressed for the weather in running pants and long shirts, it's hard to believe 70 degree weather in early March!

I was thrilled to see that even with all of the photos, dwaddling, sun-worshipping and soul-searching I finished this run in less than two hours! 1:58! And today the day after, I'm not sore. I'll do an easy 4 miler and then another long run tomorrow. Diablo 50k here I come!

Sawyer Camp Trail

View from the trail.

I really wanted to see some deer, but this is the closest I got.















At the five mile turnaround.

Yesterday I did a pleasant, easy, 5 miler at Sawyer Camp. It was a gorgeous day. Today I'm going to hit Rancho San Antonio and get in some major hills and trails. Not sure how far I'll go, I'm playing it by ear.

Bagged the Race

I didn't show at Skyline Ridge. I just was under too much stress. I was tired and my heart was fluttery, I really needed to sit in bed in my pajamas with a hot cup of coffee delivered to me by my hubby. I do know when to just give it up at times. That's what motherhood will teach ya.

I'm pretty sure that if I ran it I would've done poorly, and probably would've gotten sick. It didn't help any that it was rainy and cold out that morning. I have the Big Basin 25k next month that I'm totally psyched for - I love that place! And then I just took the big step and signed up for a 50k on Mt. Diablo on June 8th.

It's Monday after I resigned my job...and I DO feel so much better. I feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I feel like the future is limitless...and it is!

Sweet Freedom!

Well, I'm not exactly free yet, but just about as good as free. Tomorrow is my last day in office, my boss is paying me out two weeks but letting me just work one. This seems to be a pretty popular thing to do lately.

Today my company had a quarterly meeting, that I didn't go to. And then they were letting everyone off for the rest of the day. So I had an interview in the morning with a job prospect and then went running in the afternoon.

It was a gorgeous afternoon! I probably should have gone up to some of the trails, but I wanted a little extra time to tidy up the house and get some dinner ready for tonight. Besides, I have a long trail run on Saturday so I probably should taper a little before then.

It feels strange to know that a chapter of my life is closing up now. For four years I could bank on going to this job every week day. It is in a nice area and in a beautiful building with gorgeous views of the SF Bay. There are many things that I'll miss about it. The security, and the friendships.

This odd feeling of change is sometimes exhilarating, and sometimes scary and sad. I find myself alternating between joy and depression over my decision. Early this morning I lay awake for a few hours mulling over my decision and feeling a bit depressed. Until I took some NyQuil to shut off my head.

Ultimately though, I feel like cutting off this sure thing is making me face myself. I feel like I've lost myself in the identity of my job. And cutting ties with my sure, but suffocating job is forcing my true self to resurface. I had a curious encounter with a former boss yesterday who had heard the news. She wholeheartedly congratulated me on my decision, asked if I would like to work with her on some freelance projects (oh yes!) and said "You'll make more money freelancing and you'll feel more appreciated." That really struck a chord with me. Appreciation. Now that everyone knows I'm leaving I'm hearing the appreciation from all quarters. Before, never. Maybe everyone was too busy. Or the corporate culture at this company has become one of taking people for granted. Either way, this culture has left me feeling like I was unworthy of praise, not looked up to by peers and just stagnating. Now that I'm going off on my own I've brushed off my old work samples and really truly seen how good they are. I feel like facing myself in this jobless, "naked" way I see again what I want to do, and what my talents are. I'm forcing myself to not be afraid, to not give in to the evil Fear which makes me take the easy path. Peeling away my corporate identity I see my precious children, my husband, the things that I used to love to do like creative writing and my running aspirations all looking back at me and saying "This is really YOU. Enjoy it. Revel in it. And this is the way to go. These are the things that will lead you down your true path."

I'm looking forward to the future. It starts now.

New Beginnings, More Running

Fear is the most evil of things. At least for me, I can just about trace every negative thing that I've caused in my life, or that has been done to me to fear. My latest, biggest looming fear has revolved around my job, how I feared loosing it, how I feared leaving it.

I've decided to quit tomorrow.

After looking at it honestly from all sides, I see that it's been holding me back for at least 6 months now, maybe even for an entire year. Staying in it is stagnating me emotionally and professionally. It's time to bust out and start anew. Maybe also get a little well deserved R&R in the bargain.

I'm banishing fear from my life. I'm going to stop worrying about what other people think, what my parents will say. It's all related to that icky little mind gremlin - Fear. I'm 39 years old, if I don't start living for myself now, I never will. And if I live life my way I'm sure to do great things.

And now, I'm going to go for a run.

Some Good Running, Some Flu

I've had some great training runs up into my local hills where I can actually feel that my running is getting stronger the few days after a run. And then I get the flu. Twice. And it's going round and round my office. We seem to be averaging at least one sick day a week for each of us there. Part of the reason I'm sure is that a lot of us are just unhappy, me included.

I'd like to go freelance, but my family's health insurance depends on me. It's the ONLY thing keeping me at that job right now. What to do? Does anyone have any good recommendations for private health insurance that WON'T send an average family to the poor house?

Great Training Run, Bad Race


Ugh. I realized two things as I was almost at the top of Kings Mountain in Huddart park 1. I definitely needed much more hill training and 2. I wasn't really over my flu. I hoped that the flu would've maybe made me a little bit lighter and thus a bit more hill-worthy. It only made me nauseous as I tried, feebly to attack the hills. T'was a shitty race for me, I came in fully a 1/2 later than I had planned on. But I think that it was a great training run. I learned more of what I need to do, and that's certainly worth something.

I rocked on the descent. It felt like old times when I used to train with Mike Duncan, George Cammorata, Amy Wang and Jake Niebaum. Mike taught me how to hammer the descents. Even with all of these off of the trail circuit I still could pass anyone I saw on the descent and no one passed me. Now if only I can translate this to the uphills....

I still enjoyed myself, the beautiful woods and the lovely, shortlived waterfalls that dotted the trail are soothing to the soul. I even liked all of the mudpuddles. I was very, very cold afterwards though, and had to escape quickly to get home for a hot bath. Also, my hands swelled up like balloons on this run. Very odd. I think it had to do with my swinging them furiously like pendulums to get me uphill. It's happened before at altitude, but nothing has ever come of it so I won't worry. Maybe a salt thing.

Next on the agenda is Skyline. That'll be 23 k. So in the upcomming weeks I'll be pounding it out hard on the hills to get some of that oxygen capacity back.