1-1/2 Hours of Contemplation







I did 1-1/2 hours at Wunderlich. Just did a loop to the Crossroads and back down again. Kind of lazy of me, I wish I had gone to the top, but I was having odd tummy rumbles that indicated I needed a bathroom break so I headed back down Alambique trail to the porta potty. No more Alambique to the trail head for me. It's an annoying, steep root-rutted decent that doesn't make for fast times or smooth running. I don't really need the obstacle course training, I need to get some smoother trail speed in there. From now on I'm taking the Oak trail to Salamander Flat on the way down. Way more interesting.







I wasted much time contemplating my previous employment experience on the way up to The Meadows on Bear Creek Trail. I thought of all the coulda, shoulda, wouldas...which is really dumb because I pretty much knew from minute one that the whole job was trainwreck waiting to happen. So why ponder? I realized sometime after Redwood Flat that I was just hiking; trudging uphill muttering to myself. And making ridiculously slow time. What a waste of energy - not the excercise but the mental energy of mulling over this past failure. When I got to the meadow I was greated by a beautiful scene, the coastal fog spilling over the hills and into the valley below. That's why I'm here. And this is now. Enough of what was then. It's a new day.

















Today will be an easy 3 miler in town. And maybe a moderate run tomorrow morning before I go on a fieldtrip at the kids' preschool. Then I'll go to the top of the ridge on Thursday. For sure. Into the fog and beyond!

Monday is the New Saturday

It's Monday after a long weekend for the kids with their daycare closed on Friday. I miss them...but I have to remind myself that this gives me time to run, fix up the house and study. In a few minutes I'll be out of the door and headed for a trail run somewhere...most likely my lovely Wunderlich.

Saturday I did a great 5 mile loop with massive climbing here in my neighborhood. I took my secret trails to the top of our ridgeline and ran along Skyline Blvd. for a ways before dropping back down again. I went early in the morning, and it was beautiful - warm and sunny. Right now we have lots of fog and overcast, it's supposed to be this way for the rest of the week...yuck!

Sunday I kept things flat and easier but i ran harder. I'll have to measure the loop I ran, I'm not sure how long it was.

I've found a cool new running website here. It's a great way to map your run!

Kiddie Day

The kiddos' daycare is closed today for a teacher inservice day. Very unlikely cause, I'm sure that no one is at the school and they are all just taking a day off. So it's park and play time...all day today. I'll get relieved for my run in the afternoon when Daddy gets back from his Friday work duties that include driving to all of the stores that he manages - it's tough, but he does get home a little earlier.

Then after my run I'll go volunteer as I do every Friday for the cat shelter that I volunteer at - The Homeless Cat Network.

I should really start training early in the morning again. The problem with being jobless is that the workouts slide to the middle of the day, because you have time to do that. But then it becomes a problem when you have other things to do too. I'll see if I can kick myself out of bed early tomorrow to get my run in. It should be an interesting experiment. I give myself a 30% chance of actually following through on it.

Cleaning Out the Mind-House

So many of our problems are really all in our heads. My over-arching problem in my head that is spilling out everywhere else is my father. Maybe you can understand if you have overbearing parents, but my dad drives me crazy. He's one of those people who ALWAYS has to be right, must give his opinion at all times (believing he is always right). And again he is trying to control me.

Last night he calls me up and asks me how many credits I have outstanding at Cal State in my MS degree in Kinesiology and if I can add that to a med degree....He's trying to force me to go back to school to be a doctor. He is completely OBSESSED with school. He thinks that degrees are the answers to EVERYTHING in life. For example, he is completely convinced that if you have a law degree you can do ANYTHING in life; like doors will automatically open for you and that everyone will just lay down for you and you can do no wrong. He drives me nuts because there is no talking to him at all - he just bullies himself forward.

I know he's lost friends over this behavior. He drives my mom crazy. He had been good about things for a long time but now that I've left my job he's all obsessed again. Does anyone have any advice? Any magic bullet that will shut him up? I'm trying to keep my distance and the plan is that the next time he bugs me about it I'll kindly ask him to please, just, stop. That my career and my work choices are no longer up for discussion.

We live close by to my parents, which I think is part of the problem. I keep nudging my husband to look for a new job SOMEWHERE ELSE. The years that I spent away from here on my own were heavenly. Having some distance from them was great, and I'd really like that again. I feel bad about wanting to be away from them because of the kids - I know that they love seeing them, but the overbearing attitude and being all up in my business is getting out of hand.

Run Report -

On a happier note...I ran for about 40 minutes up at Wunderlich yesterday. I'm about to go back and run some more as soon as I'm done with this post. I ran out of time and had to turn back on the trail so I'm getting up there earlier today. It was kinda creepy out there yesterday...no one else was there when I was out there in the middle of the afternoon. And parts of the trail have gotten brushy and overgrown. All I could think about were mountain lions. So I ran with my knife unsheathed like a crazy woman. Today I'll be more sane.

The Need to Keep Positive

I was looking at listings for job openings for personal trainer on the web. They all look so exciting and so much fun. I'm both excited and scared. Scared because everything I see requires at least a year of experience. How am I going to get the experience...if I can't get hired w/o experience?


I realize I'm jumping the gun here and that opportunities will present themselves when I'm ready for them. I think about when I was starting out as a writer and it was so hard to find work if you didn't have experience...but as soon as I was "in" I was totally in and could easily find work. And I would reach out and help others that wanted in. There has to be employers out there who are the same...those that want to reach out and pull new, great trainers into the profession.


I know that thinking positively is the key and that I have to keep my attention on the main goal. Everyone is new at what they do at some time in their lives!


Saturday I ran on my secret trails and into Mills Canyon. It was marvelously quiet; I surprised many gray squirrels and even a cottontail resting in the middle of the trail. I found another trail head in and out of the park...not a very useful one for me, but one that may come in handy when I find the elusive lower entrance/exit that will help me avoid the creek scramble.

Sunday I did a 40 minute run around Hillsborough and then some tough ab work. Today (Monday) I'm feelin' a bit tired but I'm going to get out there anyway this afternoon. I'll have to take off Friday or do something mellow that day because daycare/preschool will be closed so I'll have the munchkins.

Hot to Trot!

I dwaddled around the house for half of the morning yesterday before getting out for a run at Huddart Park. When I got there at mid-morning it was 100 degrees in the parking lot and there were only two other cars that I could see. I love being insane.

The run was actually really nice! The heat didn't bother me, I just took it way easy. My muscles felt so nice and loose it was like gliding over the trails. I was sure to be super well hydrated with my UD backpack filled with icy sports drink. I went straight up Crystal Springs Trail for 35 minutes and then back down in 26 to make it an 1:01 run in the heat. This was good heat training, since I haven't put much time in in the heat this year yet.

I saw the cutest thing on the trails that I haven't seen (or noticed) before. All of the grey squirrels were laying, sprawled on their tummies with their legs splayed out on the trails in the shade. No doubt soaking up some coolness from the dirt before the sun would shift and shine on it. They were all quite perturbed when I'd come barreling down the trail and disturb them. Some would wait until the absolute last second to move and I'd have to start taking countermeasures to avoid them sending me zigzagging like a crazy person down the trail. How dare I ruin their fun!

Today I'll hit the weights and the books. A super hot day is a good one to study for my CPT in the shade. I'm a little worried about myself now, because it's become clear to me that I can't ever go back to the 9 to 5 again. So I better get going on getting my cert!

Backcountry Fun!

We had a great 4th of July weekend up in Hillbilly Heaven. We drove up to the high country and went swimming/picnicking/lounging at gorgeous Silver Lake (near Kirkwood). Did some running, but there was a lot of smoke in the area so I didn't do as much as I'd hoped to do. My achillies is still buggin' me a little bit, so I'm being gentle and trying to cross-train more.

I'm already missing the woods/mountains and feel a little sad today. Maya has been saying over and over again that she misses the cabin. I'm raising a little mountain girl! (yay!)

The smoke is creeping in around here again too. I'll have to get my runs in in the early mornings on the next few days since it's supposed to be super hot here with bad air quality. I'll go out and do a weights workout in the gym in my garage today to avoid the bad air. I can already feel the smoke in my throat and sinuses.

I'll be studying this afternoon for my CPT and doing a little HGTV style home redecorating. I'm ripping down old wallpaper and will be repainting. I can't wait to see how much better it's going to look! Right now it's not so great looking with the underlayers of crappy wallpaper and ugly bare wall underneath but it will be so worth it. Good bye boring beige wallpaper!

Sniffles?

Sheesh! I can't possibly have a cold, can I? I've been trying to fool myself into believing that the girls had allergies too...but methinks what we all have is a cold. In July. GREAT!

So it's rest and fluids for me today to try and get rid of this thing ASAP. And I'll use my time to study too.

Sunny Monday

Yesterday I ran my secret trails loop in town in about 1:15. That's a pretty usual time. But I did double back once to explore an area I've wanted to explore to see if there was a connector trail that I could use. I didn't find one...but it still may be there. I'll have to try it from the other side as there is a little offshoot trail in the canyon and I'm not sure where it goes, but I think it leads out to the street somewhere.

It was pleasantly warm and the air was much better. I could still see some haze from the fires but when I looked straight up at the sky it was blue. So yes, the air quality was much improved. I'm crossing my fingers that all of the fires will be out soon! Although I'm wary about the 4th and illegal (and some legal in places) fireworks. You've just got to know that some dingbats will fire them off and they will start grassfires.

Not sure if I'll run today. I probably won't. I feel a little tired from yesterday's run, plus it's one of my weight training days. For the next two weeks I'll be continuing to follow a three-day, full-body lifting schedule. Then I'll switch to a four-day split. I'm also tweaking my diet to a higher protein, low-fat, moderate carb diet. The drop in carbs is making me more tired I think, although I normally totally crave proteins so this diet is not a pain in the butt for me at all. Where lots of people just loooove bread and can totally chow down on it, I usually ignore it in restaurants. I'm just not a bread/starch lover. I've always been this way. Even as a little kid I used to drive my parents batty by leaving my breakfast toast on the plate and wolfing down my eggs and bacon instead.

I'm also doing the 6 little meals rather than the three bigger ones. That is working out well too as it keeps your blood sugar stable and you're never hungry. I'd love to drop 10 lbs, but I'm not sure really how my body will reorganize itself. Maybe I'll stay the same weight, but be much more lean and muscular...that would fine too!

I'm not sure if it's the fires or not but the whole family is suffering from some kind of nasty allergies. I've been totally congested for the past few days so I'm back on the Zyrtec. Ugh.

Anyway, off to my second "breakfast" and the weight room! I'll do pictures of some kind tomorrow. Probably will hit a trail for some runnin'.

Totally Mellow

I'm slowly adjusting to my early partial retirement. Last week I woke up on Friday morning dreading going in to work and trying to figure out sick day excuses...then I remembered that I don't work there anymore! It was a great feeling and only confirmed to me more that it's the best thing in the world for me to be outta there.

We've had home cooked meals every day since I've been retired. My hubby loves the savings and the fact that they are undoubtedly healthier. I like cooking and I so like the slower pace of things.

I got my study materials for my CPT course too. I've read a little bit but I haven't really dug in deep yet. I'm still getting settled into the new arrangement. I feel so peaceful and so calm - I really didn't know how stressed I was until the stress was removed.

I really feel free now to explore and find my true path. This time for me is such a gift. My advice to anyone who is questioning their career path/decisions is to first - listen to your instincts and heed them! If something is telling you, no screaming at you to NOT take a job, follow your hunch (I didn't, but I sure learned). If you feel like there is something else that you should be doing, explore that feeling! Take some time out of your busy days and write in a journal, meditate about it, whatever brings you clarity. Even if you don't know right now what it is that you are destined to do, if you take some time to figure it out it will be well worth it. Spirit will send you signs and steer you on the right path. Think if the things that you love to do and wish you could do all day long...is there some way you can work that into a career?

Any little step in the right direction is progress! You'll feel much better for it, trust me.

I haven't felt this peaceful in a very long time! Even though I just got fired...I feel totally at ease. I'm sure it's because I'm now headed in the right direction. I will not let myself be sidetracked by an easy job offer or other distraction that I might bite on if I let fear get the best of me. No, no, no - not again! I'm going to follow my intuition, my heart, my gut feelings that let me know what is right and wrong for me. I didn't follow them when I took this last job because of the money offered and the fear of not having a permanent job. And look where it got me? It's not a total loss and I'm not sorry for taking that job because ultimately it taught me a hugely useful lesson about following my gut instincts.

So now I've been spending a little more time with my kiddos. Today is my baby girl's 3rd birthday! She's at preschool where we'll have a little party for her today with cupcakes for all of her little friends. I have to wrap a few last presents for her and of course one for her older sister too because you have to include the other one too or they'll get jealous. I've been much more patient and at ease with them since getting free from the Nasty Gray Cubicle Farm.

So now I'll recuperate from my ordeal. I'll gussy up the house a bit and work out...lots. I'm waiting for materials for the personal training course that I've signed up for (yay!). I'm waffling on going out for my run today because of all of the fires that are out there right now. The air is terrible. I've had asthma attacks on days with bad air like this, so I'm not sure if I should go run or not. Maybe the air isn't that bad and won't affect me? Or is running today not a good idea and I'd be better to wait 'till tomorrow. Hmmm. I'll see how I feel and how the air is in a few hours.

Anyway...here's to everyone following their bliss, living their passions and thriving!

And Now for Something Completely Different...


WOW! I just got bitchslapped by fate.

I've really been wanting to quit my job. I hated it. The company I worked for, well, let's just say that they had the worst culture I've ever encountered. It was so bad it was funny, almost laughable. I knew I wouldn't last six months the first few days I was there. I was only hanging on for some valuable experience, health insurance and a nice paycheck that I could bank for my time when I'm off.

I had been planning on quitting in September. But I got fired on Wednesday! Oh well, more vacation for me. There's great weather...perfect for time off.

They fired me because they decided that they didn't need/want someone in my field...they wanted another analyst/statistician (entirely unrelated to my field in creative). This closely follows on the heels of my manager asking me if I knew why so many people were quitting. I didn't want to tell him "Because this place has the worst work environment in the business," but I eventually got strongarmed into divulging that people were leaving not only for a better environment, but just a normal one. It's not like they didn't know, I know what my reports and other people had filled out in their exit interview forms. But I'm sure they were shooting the messenger in this case. And I don't care, I'm relieved actually.

I'm going to get my certificate in personal training and chart a new course for my life. No more gray cubicles for 8 or more hours a day. Flexibility, and something I'm passionate and interested in...what a concept! I want job that I'll love getting up for in the morning, that I can be proud of and that I know makes a positive difference in the world.

Turning the page...

Sunshine Sunday

Finally, some warm weather! Sunny California has been cold and windy for weeks now. On Saturday I was pleasantly surprised by beautiful warm weather when I stepped out on to my back deck. I don't think that this nice weather was forecasted ahead of time. I didn't run on Saturday, I didn't really have time to as the Hubby had to work all day. Everyone was too exhausted to do any working out by the end of the day, so he didn't do anything either.

I spent the day with the two little monsters. We all went to Home Depot together to get some gardening supplies and most importantly paint for the inside of the house! We've been living with beige wallpapered walls for way too long. My house definitely doesn't reflect me. There's a dissonance there that I find grating to my soul, you know what I mean? So I've had enough of it and I'm going to redo the house. I'll take before and after pictures. One thing I'm definitely going to have to do is get the toys out of the living room. More often than not it looks like a preschool exploded there. Not very zen.

So, Sunday dawned beautifully, another gorgeous sunny day! I went for a run at Edgewood Open Space. I only did 40 minutes, so that it didn't eat up too much of the day. It was the perfect little break I needed, refreshing and rejuvenating. I didn't feel run down or beat up afterwards. And I also didn't feel guilty about leaving the kids for too long on the weekend, a real problem that I've been having mentally with myself. It's a little more of a balanced schedule - i just can't leave for hours at a time by myself. The Hubby put our weight set back together too so that I can do some weight training again. It's all about keeping it balanced. I know that I should be doing strength training, but I had been avoiding it because I was spending all of my time running. Not balanced, right? Well, I'm changing that and in the process I'll be staying closer to home more too since the weights are right nearby in the garage. And hopefully I'll look better in the process too!

Tired

I woke up on Thursday morning and was just beat. I hit the snooze button on our alarm for a full hour. I could feel that this wasn't lazy-tired. This was real tired and I'd probably not be benefitting myself by running. So I didn't. I did some sit ups, push-ups and yoga instead.

Friday...
I went for a short, about 4 mile run this morning. Unfortunately I only started feeling better around mile 3. I'm afraid that I'm a bit burned out and that I need to rest. It seems like I just don't recover inbetween runs like I used to. I wake up achy every morning and I hobble around like an old lady for the first few minutes when I get up. I'm afraid that I'll just get injured if I continue at this rate.

So I think I'll try a new schedule. Yoga has always helped me feel great and I really haven't been doing any of it for months. I don't have the time with all the running, kids and work! I think that I'll have to cut down on the running and add in some yoga to improve the running in the long term. My plan is to do yoga and calisthenics on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and run on the other days. I'll do more quality work on my running days and less of just getting in the miles. Getting rid of the running on those days will give me a decent rest, and especially on Saturdays it'll give me more time, which I desperately need. I'll do some home improvement projects and spend time with the kids instead. It's starting to become a strain to try and juggle the workouts between the hubby and I, and having one less weekend day of that will be a relief.

Hillbilly Heaven

No long run this past weekend. We went up to the cabin instead. It was unseasonably cold and wet, but we made the best of it. I got out for two 40 minute runs over the three days. It was a good break, actually, because I’ve been feeling some pains in my right ankle and I think that it needed the rest.

There was no time to do any really good trail adventuring up there with the kiddos to entertain. But I did find a nice side trail right next to the Pony Express Trail, where our little piece of heaven is. And I’m so used to the unseasonably cold weather that I just ran in a run tee and shorts early in the morning and felt totally comfortable.

The girls cried when we left and they’ve already started asking to go back up the cabin. We’ve got some budding mountain women here!

My ankle is feeling better – I think the aching is caused by me curling up and clenching my right foot. I do it unconsciously; I think it’s where my stress goes. Weird huh? So I’ve been concentrating on relaxing it totally. And when I run faster it goes away, but if I run “easy” it isn’t easy at all. My body makes no sense at all. I think the painful parts are the tendons of the muscles underneath my large calf muscle that emerge underneath the Achilles and insert into the arch area of my foot. It sometimes feels like my Achilles tendon is hurting (which freaks me out) but then I poke at it and it doesn’t hurt at all. But if I trace where these smaller muscles and tendons attach I can feel the soreness.

It also looks like I’m going to postpone my 50k debut for awhile. DH (darling husband) has to work that weekend and there’s no one to care for the kids. I think it’s for the best anyway with this ankle thing bugging me a bit. I could use a few more longer runs – so I’m looking to probably do Skyline to the Sea in September instead. If things are going very well I may even do my debut at Run on the Sly up near the cabin. We’ll see.

Phleger/Huddart - 2wks ago....

Here's some pics from my Phleger/Huddart run 2 wks ago. I'm going out every Sunday on these trails because I can connect all over the place with them.

The Beginning of Crystal Springs Trail. It's flat, but it's a good way to warm up.

Right around the corner up that trail was a very steep section.

There used to be a town here?

A nest of some sort. Probably a squirrel. They are the noisiest things out here.

Getting woodsier, and almost to Phleger.

Just entering Phleger.

Phleger Huddart. And getting more redwoodsy.

Phleger is really, really beautiful. I'll take some pictures tomorrow and post them.

Good luck and best wishes to everyone doing Ohlone this weekend! And good luck Catra on your 100!

TGIF

Oh how things can change in an hour.

I snuck out of the house while everyone was sleeping for a wonderful, peaceful trail run through Mills Canyon. I did an hour loop there and back to my house. Granted, it was a little longer than I had planned on but I thought things would be well taken care of by the time that I got back....

I get in the house and the kids aren't dressed yet and my husband is barfing in the toilet, suffering from a migraine. Egads. And then the morning went crazy.

I had to rush to get the girls dressed, and I ended up being very short tempered with them, yelling and screaming (which I feel terrible about now). Then I took a shower quickly and got dressed fast. I ended up running out the door with wet, unstyled hair, no make-up and a screaming four-year-old that was in full tantrum mode. Not very Zen.

Of course we were a half-hour late for everything. And now I feel super guilty for being such a b*tch and not keeping my Zen through the situation.

I'm going to try to sneak outta work a little early and get something fun for them at Target to try and make up for it. I don't know why, but lately when I'm really pressed against the wall with things I just blow up. It just all comes back to me about how I really wish I didn't have to go to this job and how I wish I could work from home and take care of things there. I hate living in chaos and creating chaos.

It will be a hot evening tonight. I'll try and make it up to the girls (although I know that they've probably forgotten all about it by now). We'll play outside in the yard until later and just RELAX for once.

IV drip for the tequilla, please.

Laggin' on the Pics

Yeah, I know. It's just when I get home I get too lazy to turn on the computer and upload them. I promise I'll do it in the next few days!

I had another nice run from Edgewood up into Huddart/Phleger. I ran a little in Huddart and then turned and went into Phleger. Next time I'm going to go directly into Phleger and do a big loop to the top and back down through Huddart. I just loved Phleger! It's full of beatiful ferns beneath the redwoods and the beginning trails run right next to Union Creek. So soothing. And soon it will be really nice to be in there when it's super hot outside.

I'm doing a rare evening work out tonight from my house on some of those "secret" trails that I found. I can't wait! I look forward to the warm evening, the meditating run and the soothing trails!

You Just Never Know

Okay, so I knew that I was hired at my new job to take over some of my boss's responsibilities so that she could step back and take care of other things. But I was totally surprised this week by finding out that I'll be reporting to someone else entirely and that I'm basically taking over her job.

Not unpleasantly surprised, since the work will be much less tedious and my new boss is super chill. Mellow is where it's at.

In other news - I'll post some cool pics of last week's weekend long run soon. I've discovered a new starting point for my long runs that will be easier to park at and provides multiple trail connections. I could run 100 miles from this spot if I wanted to and not duplicate a trail!

I also found some "secret" trails in my own neighborhood that I can use during the week to get in my dirt fix! Yay!

Congrats to everyone who ran Miwok - it looks like it was a beautiful day/race!

Lessons Learned

It was a beautiful day...Sunday turned out to be sunny and hot. I haven't run in "hot" this year yet and it showed. The course was much more rooted and rocky than I remembered it being. I twisted my ankle pretty good at about 8 or 9 miles in, of course just as I was starting to hit my stride again after a particularly difficult section that involved scrambling over a waterfall and some other ups and downs that were totally unrunnable. I finished, but I did very poorly by my estimates...here's why -

1. Dehydration

I did not adequately hydrate before or during the race. I don't have a water pack (CamelBack) but I'm getting one now (it's already on order). I've been out of this long distance running thing for so long that I've forgotten how to adequately plan for these things. There was no aid station for the first 17k and I ran out of water after about 6 or 7 miles probably.

2. Panicking

I panicked and gave up after twisting my ankle. It seemed like a bad one at the time so rightfully so I just thought of getting back to the start (the course was run on a figure-8 pattern with the start/finish at the center of the two loops). But I didn't mentally recover when my ankle DID get better. I should have started running again, I would have felt better. But then I transferred my panic to the fact that I didn't have any water. Looking back now it seems stupid...but I wasn't sure where I was and I was afraid of getting into trouble.

3. Being too hard on myself

Feeling like a total looser because I was going slower and slower and that my finish was way down low near the bottom of the list when I know that I can do much, much better. I did push ahead and finish...and I ran out of water again on the second loop! I only had a 20 oz. hip pack bottle...but obviously that is NOT enough anymore - hence the water pack that I'm anxiously waiting for. I haven't seen these trails in years...I shouldn't have expected so much. I do sooo much better on trails that I know well. So if I want to really excel at a race it has to be on trails that I've scouted out already, at least.

I was so angry with myself initially that I wanted to quit entirely. Hell, it'd be a lot easier to sleep 2 hours more in the mornings and just forget all of this. But then I thought about all of those great quotes that Olga had on her blog. I thought of this one especially-

What is defeat? Nothing but education; nothing but the first step to something better.
- Wendell Phillips

So I'm going to stop being such a big baby and get on with it now. And do things smarter. Onward, upward and better.

Ouch!

I had a back spasm that sidelined me for a day back on Monday. I stayed home from work too, which was glorious. I went to the chiropractor and 95$ later I felt much better. I only missed a day of running, but I'm supposed to be tapering anyway. And I am.

The next race is a 25k on Sunday. It's really a run through race for mileage and part of the build up for Diablo. I'm anxious to try out my POSE on it and see how my hill running has improved. This morning my run was the smoothest it's been since I've started POSEing...things are starting to feel natural to me now. And I keep getting faster - my min/mile average on my morning run was 8:06 I think.

And yay! The weather is supposed to be beautiful on Sunday! So I won't have to worry about bundling up and can just run in a shorts and a singlet. Yippee!

Good luck to everyone who is doing ZG this weekend.

Here I Am

I usually hate pictures of myself, but here I am in the kitchen before a run. Camera is on the counter.

Gettin' Faster!


Whooo Hooo! I just checked out my iPodicle running thingy because I KNEW I had some fast miles at the end of yesterday's morning run. I found a 6:52 min/mile. Yeehaw! This POSE thing is really helping me out afterall. And my overall run averages are in the 8-8:30 min/mile for whole runs. Here's to keepin' that up, and the training and remaining injury free.

A Little Sore, but ....

Still working on the POSE method. It's going better now. For a while there I had myself all in knots thinking TOO much about form. But I think I'm finally reaping the benefits of my hard work. My calves are still a bit tight from the change in stride (I have to remember to keep stretching and to massage out the knots with my massage stick!).

I had a great run at Wunderlich on Sunday even though it was pretty hot out there. Luckily most of my Wunderlich run is in the shade of the redwoods....ahhhhh! I did about 13 miles. Every time I run there on Sundays I will stretch it out a mile and slowly inch my way over to Huddart Park on the connecting Skyline Trail. Movin' up that mileage, ever so sloooowwwly.

Congrats to Catra & Leslie on their awesome Diablo 50m runs! I was thinking good thoughts for both of you on that day. And Happy Birthday to Angie! (Good Luck at Zane Grey!).

Rolling Along Again

Hello everyone! I've been super buzy at work, and it's really hard for me to post from there. It's going better. It's just so different than my previous job.

I've been keeping up and extending the miles. Today I ran 11.5 miles in Wunderlich. Very hilly and beautiful. I loooove it there. I got rained on a bit on the way back down, but it hardly mattered at all.

I've been studying and implementing the POSE method of running. Wow, it's tough to radically change your style but even in it's imperfect stylings at the moment I've taken MINUTES off of some of my usual runs. A run that used to take me about 43 minutes now takes me 39. And I feel really different - the muscle soreness is much less after long runs. And when I'm running, when I do hit the sweet spot of the POSE method it just feels like I'm floating along. I'm at the point now that I can't revert to my old style, but I'm not perfect at POSE yet. But this is a good point - I'm improving and I've shed my old bad habits. Happily POSE makes running uphill much easier.

Anyway, on my run today at Wunderlich I saw about 5 deer including cute little spotted fawns. A vole sorta little creature, and the biggest gray squirrel I've ever seen. I thought he was a fox at first crossing the trail. And banana slugs, of course.

Twisted Ankles and Other Irritants



Last Saturday as I was returning to the start of the trail at Edgewood Park, I sprained my ankle. Ugh. It's still kinda swollen and black and blue. I'm running on it anyway.



I started a new job this week. I'm less than thrilled, but I it's just a bus stop on the road of life. It's a copywriting job, with management responsibilities. The culture is a bit backward for the Silicon Valley, no telecommuting and such. Not great for the working mother. But I’ll do my best as long as I’m here. I’ll try and change things for the better. But when something better comes along – I’m gone. I’m keeping my options open.

I may want to do something else entirely different. I was thinking about massage therapy and physical training. Something to research!
I’ve been running well since my ankle stopped being totally blue! I’m even getting out for a trail run after work today!

iPod Fun

I'm not big on lots of gadgets, I feel like they can be distracting, but I've been having fun with my iPod Nano. I finally busted out the Nike iPod connector doodad that I've had for over a month but have been too lazy to use since I thought that the set up would be horrendous. Well it wasn't - true I'm using the standard calibration but it seems to be pretty close to acurate for me. I used it on a hilly loop at Rancho yesterday and I think that it calibrated it pretty close to the actual miles/minutes per mile. I did almost 6 hilly miles at about 10:10 pace. I chugged up the switchbacks and bombed the downhills so I'm pretty sure that's about right.

I'll try it out around town today and let ya know how it does there.

Thursday March 13th


10 Mile Revelations



I did a 10 miler today on Sawyer Camp Trail. The weather was perfect for running, being slightly overcast as I started out, changing to intermittent sunshine later on. I always like seeing the sun! And it was just a bit cool, very pleasant to run in.


I told myself that I was going to run this s-l-o-w-l-y so that I wouldn't be out of gas at mile 7. So I started out running about a 10 minute mile. I soooo wanted to speed up when and old guy passed me! But I had to remind myself that he probably wasn't running nearly as far as I was. Sure enough I could tell that he had turned at about the 2.5 mile mark for a 5 miler.


I've had a wierd discomfort in my right ankle/achilles that is not an outright pain, but definitely not a good thing. I was a little worried about running far out on this out-and-back trail and blowing out my achilles or something and and having to limp all the way back. So at about the 3.5 mile mark by the Jepson laurel tree I really put my mind to my body to take stock of what was going on with it. After concentrating awhile on my ankle, I realized that I'd been clenching my foot. As I was running, I was subconciously trying to hold my arch up in fear of overpronating. Later I also figured out that I was using my right foot far too much in the pushing off -- probably still doing that to protect my right leg that is a bit weaker than my left after I broke it a few years back. I bet this all is contributing to my left hip being tight too. So I concentrated on relaxing my foot and using more of my leg. Soon that wierd feeling my achilles went away.

I was feeling pretty good now and my iPod was kicking out Metalica's "Fuel" So I sped up. I haven't seen this part of this trail in a very long time. The trees envelope the trail like a tunnel and ferns grown the hillside to my left and a swamp has formed on the right side of the trail from the copious rains we've had this winter. I cruised comfortably to the 5 mile mark and the turnaround.

I paused there and had a GU and some liquid. It was quiet and lovely with dappled sunlight showing through the trees.

Going back the miles rolled away pretty easily until about mile 8. By then my foot/ankle felt great because the rest of me was too fatigued to do any kind of foot clenching. I was clearly too chipper and fleet-footed from mile 4 to 7 as the wheels were coming off now. I slogged it back in to the trail head, doing a little bit of a run walk but still feeling quite satisfied with my effort, even though it wasn't quite even. It'll get better with time and miles.

Wednesday, March 12th


Edgewood Park


Well, instead of driving all the way down to Rancho I went to Edgewood Park....which is about a 10-15 minute drive away. I'll reserve Rancho for the big long runs, today I should only do a 5'er or so.

I haven't been to Edgewood in a long time. I forgot how pretty it can be, especially in the springtime. Things were green and gorgeous with a few early wildflowers, and much if the early trail which climbs through oak forest switchbacks is like a fairy land; a green tunnel of trees, moss and ferns.

Fairy tunnels!

Upper Meadow

When I got to the top I checked out the views from this beautiful green meadow. Then it took me forever to find the trails that I wanted to take back down because there was a trail not listed on the map that was fouling things up for me. I ended up going on a loop and coming right back to the meadow again. Which was okay, but a bit frustrating. So I headed off in another direction to connect up with the Sylvan Trail to get back down again. I probably did more than 5 miles with the mix up. But who's counting???

Little Lizard

Tuesday's Trails

I think I'll go down to Rancho and run some sort of loop on the Wildcat Canyon Trail. I need to cheer myself up.

And I won't get a chance to run the trails during the week once I start my new job. Thank goodness I managed to get some time off in between gigs. I'm a little scared because I think I DON'T want to start this new job. I'm a little afraid of it. And I wonder if I shouldn't be doing something totally different, if the copywriting part of my life is over and I should be doing something else. But what is it? I'd love to do something related to my trail running, outside in the woods...but what am I qualified for now? Now that I'm in my late 30's and have been doing the copywriting internet thing for so long.

I just heard one of the cats upchucking in the kitchen. Why do they all do that? And at the worst times. I just don't even want to go over there and see that whomever barfed managed to barf on a rug and not on the 90% of the kitchen that has easy clean linoleum. Yes. getting out of the house would be the best thing for me today.

RIP Matt


One of my favorite coworkers from the job that I just left died yesterday tragically in a car on bike accident. He was a talented cyclist who had just won a race that he was really gunning for. I'm saddened and shocked by his way, way too early leaving of this earth.

The Story


Live every day as if it were your last. Enjoy your friends and family and let them all know how much you love them. Go for your dreams and live with no regrets.

Wunderlich Park



Thursday, March 6th



A very close second to Rancho San Antonio for me is Wunderlich. It's hilly, but somehow for me it's not too brutal. I guess it has just the right amount of ups and downs. I love the variety of little ecosystems that you can run through on a single run -- there are oak forests, meadows, redwood forests and some of the non-native eucalyptus too.



I did 5 miles on Friday. I was trying to take it a little easy because I've been runnin' pretty hard on the hills and I don't want to overdo it. I started out a little sore. The hills seemed easier than they were last time I ran here. A good sign! And all of my soreness went away! I felt better afterwards than I did before. Another beautiful run.


(pictures to come...blogger isn't uploading them right now for some reason)

Rancho San Antonio

I love this place! This is one of my favorite places to run. There are many long trails and loops to do, the terrain is hilly and varied and the wildlife is fantastic. I see some form of wildlife every single time I go out here.

The most exciting wildlife encounter I've had at Rancho was with a bobcat a few years ago. She came sauntering down the trail towards me, I stopped and stood quietly in my spot. She walked right up to me and passed by me, almost close enough to brush my leg. I spoke quietly to her and she gave me very calm "kitty eyes" back. She then stepped off the trail and into the field next to it. She was so beautiful. It makes me feel good to know that creatures like her still live near us and continue their natural lives.

My 3/4 run at Rancho was fantastic. The weather was a perfect, sunny, 70 degrees. The recent rains have turned the hills of Rancho green and the creeks are full of cool rushing water. About 1/2 down the Rogue Trail in the valley I encountered a group of eight deer. I stopped in the trail and watched them crash through the creek and shrubbery at the north side of the trail, cross behind me over the trail, and leap up the hillside towards the switchbacks of the Wildcat Loop Trail.

I also saw bunnies munching on the grass along the Rogue Trail.

At the end of the Rogue Valley I saw this big tree down. A remnant of some of the crazy storms we had late this winter.

Happily my ascent on the Upper Rogue Valley Trail was easier than I expected. I guess all of that hill running that I've been doing is really getting me fitter. I haven't run here in a while, and I remembered this portion of the trail as being longer and harder. This was a big confidence booster.

Next I turned right to head up the High Meadow Trail. I have to admit that I did a good amount of dwadling up here. The warm sun, the views and the solitude did my spirit good, so I wanted to suck it all up. I thought about my former coworkers and how they were stuck in their offices right now! I was so happy to be able to take advantage of my time off and the perfect weather to get stronger, fitter and soak in nature. I'd forgotten how difficult the very last part of this trail is. Just before it intersects with the PG&E trail at the very top by the vista point the Upper Meadow Trail becomes completely unrunnable. It's steep climb forced me to switchback it at a hiking pace. At the top I encountered this curious sign and an unmarked trailhead. I wonder where it goes to? If anyone knows, please tell me so that I don't have to find out for myself!

The vegetation was much thicker than I remembered going down the PG&E trail. I was getting tired so all of the little uphills inbetween the big screaming descents were just killing me. I encountered lots of people who were totally overdressed for the weather in running pants and long shirts, it's hard to believe 70 degree weather in early March!

I was thrilled to see that even with all of the photos, dwaddling, sun-worshipping and soul-searching I finished this run in less than two hours! 1:58! And today the day after, I'm not sore. I'll do an easy 4 miler and then another long run tomorrow. Diablo 50k here I come!

Sawyer Camp Trail

View from the trail.

I really wanted to see some deer, but this is the closest I got.















At the five mile turnaround.

Yesterday I did a pleasant, easy, 5 miler at Sawyer Camp. It was a gorgeous day. Today I'm going to hit Rancho San Antonio and get in some major hills and trails. Not sure how far I'll go, I'm playing it by ear.

Bagged the Race

I didn't show at Skyline Ridge. I just was under too much stress. I was tired and my heart was fluttery, I really needed to sit in bed in my pajamas with a hot cup of coffee delivered to me by my hubby. I do know when to just give it up at times. That's what motherhood will teach ya.

I'm pretty sure that if I ran it I would've done poorly, and probably would've gotten sick. It didn't help any that it was rainy and cold out that morning. I have the Big Basin 25k next month that I'm totally psyched for - I love that place! And then I just took the big step and signed up for a 50k on Mt. Diablo on June 8th.

It's Monday after I resigned my job...and I DO feel so much better. I feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I feel like the future is limitless...and it is!

Sweet Freedom!

Well, I'm not exactly free yet, but just about as good as free. Tomorrow is my last day in office, my boss is paying me out two weeks but letting me just work one. This seems to be a pretty popular thing to do lately.

Today my company had a quarterly meeting, that I didn't go to. And then they were letting everyone off for the rest of the day. So I had an interview in the morning with a job prospect and then went running in the afternoon.

It was a gorgeous afternoon! I probably should have gone up to some of the trails, but I wanted a little extra time to tidy up the house and get some dinner ready for tonight. Besides, I have a long trail run on Saturday so I probably should taper a little before then.

It feels strange to know that a chapter of my life is closing up now. For four years I could bank on going to this job every week day. It is in a nice area and in a beautiful building with gorgeous views of the SF Bay. There are many things that I'll miss about it. The security, and the friendships.

This odd feeling of change is sometimes exhilarating, and sometimes scary and sad. I find myself alternating between joy and depression over my decision. Early this morning I lay awake for a few hours mulling over my decision and feeling a bit depressed. Until I took some NyQuil to shut off my head.

Ultimately though, I feel like cutting off this sure thing is making me face myself. I feel like I've lost myself in the identity of my job. And cutting ties with my sure, but suffocating job is forcing my true self to resurface. I had a curious encounter with a former boss yesterday who had heard the news. She wholeheartedly congratulated me on my decision, asked if I would like to work with her on some freelance projects (oh yes!) and said "You'll make more money freelancing and you'll feel more appreciated." That really struck a chord with me. Appreciation. Now that everyone knows I'm leaving I'm hearing the appreciation from all quarters. Before, never. Maybe everyone was too busy. Or the corporate culture at this company has become one of taking people for granted. Either way, this culture has left me feeling like I was unworthy of praise, not looked up to by peers and just stagnating. Now that I'm going off on my own I've brushed off my old work samples and really truly seen how good they are. I feel like facing myself in this jobless, "naked" way I see again what I want to do, and what my talents are. I'm forcing myself to not be afraid, to not give in to the evil Fear which makes me take the easy path. Peeling away my corporate identity I see my precious children, my husband, the things that I used to love to do like creative writing and my running aspirations all looking back at me and saying "This is really YOU. Enjoy it. Revel in it. And this is the way to go. These are the things that will lead you down your true path."

I'm looking forward to the future. It starts now.

New Beginnings, More Running

Fear is the most evil of things. At least for me, I can just about trace every negative thing that I've caused in my life, or that has been done to me to fear. My latest, biggest looming fear has revolved around my job, how I feared loosing it, how I feared leaving it.

I've decided to quit tomorrow.

After looking at it honestly from all sides, I see that it's been holding me back for at least 6 months now, maybe even for an entire year. Staying in it is stagnating me emotionally and professionally. It's time to bust out and start anew. Maybe also get a little well deserved R&R in the bargain.

I'm banishing fear from my life. I'm going to stop worrying about what other people think, what my parents will say. It's all related to that icky little mind gremlin - Fear. I'm 39 years old, if I don't start living for myself now, I never will. And if I live life my way I'm sure to do great things.

And now, I'm going to go for a run.

Some Good Running, Some Flu

I've had some great training runs up into my local hills where I can actually feel that my running is getting stronger the few days after a run. And then I get the flu. Twice. And it's going round and round my office. We seem to be averaging at least one sick day a week for each of us there. Part of the reason I'm sure is that a lot of us are just unhappy, me included.

I'd like to go freelance, but my family's health insurance depends on me. It's the ONLY thing keeping me at that job right now. What to do? Does anyone have any good recommendations for private health insurance that WON'T send an average family to the poor house?

Great Training Run, Bad Race


Ugh. I realized two things as I was almost at the top of Kings Mountain in Huddart park 1. I definitely needed much more hill training and 2. I wasn't really over my flu. I hoped that the flu would've maybe made me a little bit lighter and thus a bit more hill-worthy. It only made me nauseous as I tried, feebly to attack the hills. T'was a shitty race for me, I came in fully a 1/2 later than I had planned on. But I think that it was a great training run. I learned more of what I need to do, and that's certainly worth something.

I rocked on the descent. It felt like old times when I used to train with Mike Duncan, George Cammorata, Amy Wang and Jake Niebaum. Mike taught me how to hammer the descents. Even with all of these off of the trail circuit I still could pass anyone I saw on the descent and no one passed me. Now if only I can translate this to the uphills....

I still enjoyed myself, the beautiful woods and the lovely, shortlived waterfalls that dotted the trail are soothing to the soul. I even liked all of the mudpuddles. I was very, very cold afterwards though, and had to escape quickly to get home for a hot bath. Also, my hands swelled up like balloons on this run. Very odd. I think it had to do with my swinging them furiously like pendulums to get me uphill. It's happened before at altitude, but nothing has ever come of it so I won't worry. Maybe a salt thing.

Next on the agenda is Skyline. That'll be 23 k. So in the upcomming weeks I'll be pounding it out hard on the hills to get some of that oxygen capacity back.

Feelin' Not So Frisky

So I blog about feeling great and what happens? I get the flu. Compliments of the two-year-old. Yesterday was the barfy day, which the little one joined me in. I don't recommend it as a bonding excercise. I'm still cleaning up the aftermath.

So today I've shipped her off to daycare and called in sick again. In the past two days I've eaten four crackers, drank a lot of water and a little grape juice. I'm headachy and lightheaded right now, but at least I think that the barfyness is overwith. I've been thinking about how I should eat something, but nothing sounds good yet. I want to run. But I know that would be stupid. Maybe I'll be able to go on a little trot later today, after I eat something.

I STILL want to do my 17k this Saturday. I'm still planning on it.

Feelin' Frisky

Today I only had about 45 minutes to run because hubby had to go into work. So I did a favorite long worn route of mine. The last ten mintues or so had me feeling very smooth, with a long stride and a ton of energy. I'll take this as a sign that I need to go longer on a regular basis. It seems that I'm only warmed up about 1/2 hour into my runs and then after that point I start to feel really good.

For that first sluggish 1/2 hour of my run I walked a couple of times. Honestly, I really didn't need to. I've gotta cut out the walking from my routine. Most of the time runners are told to put more walking into their training to give them some needed rest, but really in my case it's getting ridiculous. I'm just being lazy at this point. When I started back to running in earnest I really did need to walk a bit here and there - but that time is over now. Or it better be anyway.

Next run I will NOT allow myself to walk any part of it. No matter how painful it is. I know that when I push through that hill it feels so much better on the top and on the downside when I've run the whole way up. I have to work throught that lung burn and get to the other side. Only then will I perform as I hope to in races. Maybe I'll loose those few extra pounds too!

Good Running, Bad Weather

My running has felt good...when I can get out for it. We've been having some big storms around here lately. I don't go out and run in high winds. A few years back I was running in a storm when a very large branch from a tall wind whipped tree came crashing down right behind me. I decided that a day off of running is better than being flattened.

Last night I didn't even lay out my running clothes in anticipation of the nightmare storm that was coming. In hindsight I could've gotten out before the party started, but well, so what. I got my kids ready in time for daycare instead.

Work has been, well blah. If anyone wants a dependable, fun, creative, great copywriter please leave me a message. It's time to move on from my post here at the BIG BOX. I really want to be promoted...just not here. That's a problem, and that's why I know that it's time to go.

Well, tomorrow morning I'll sneak in a morning run. Come Hell or high water. It's the one thing I can count on to make me feel good.

Trail Fun!

Today I ran the 9k of the Pacifica Trail Runs. Very steep in parts. Very, very beautfiul terrain. This was a nice event. I just took it easy and came in in the middle of the pack somewhere. Next time I'll do a longer race and get more serious and go faster. But this was good training. It was sunny and cold out, a beautiful winter day coastside.

Run Report - Tuesday, Jan. 15th

Didn't run yesterday due to some achyness in my feet and ankles that told me to back off a bit. That hard hill run on Sunday made me feel a little creaky.

Did a small run - about 4 miles. Broke in the new shoes. It was so foggy I couldn't see more than 50 feet ahead. I feel all better now - no achyness.

My Weekend Runs
Saturday and Sunday 1-13 & 1-14

I ran and hour each day in the hills behind my house. Sunday was the more brutal of the hill running days. I was feeling kinda sore today so I took the day off. Tomorrow morning I'll do a moderate run on the flats with my new shooz!

New Shooz


So I've been using minimalist shoes for quite a while now, but now that I'm ramping up the mileage and intensity I thought I'd treat myself to something cushier. I had been happily running in the Asics Gel-Landreth and thought that maybe the Nimbus would be the ticket for my necessary road miles. (Not trail shoes - I have some still good trail shoes by New Balance and Nike).

So I went down to Ye Olde Running Shoestore and tried on a bunch. The Nimbus were heavenly. But I made the awful and fatal mistake of trying on the top top top of the line Asics "just for kicks." The Kinsei felt out of this world and made the Nimbus feel like cardboard. I was ruined. So I ended up getting Kinseis as an early b-day present from the hubby. He did have a store credit there so the bill ended up not being as bad as it could have been.

Am I ruined now? Will I have to get such gloriously cushy shoes forever now. Ugh.

Rumors of Ghosts

Running has been going well. I had a wonderful neighborhood run up in the hills over the weekend. I powered up and over the hills like I haven't done in years. My body is feeling much more like it used to, energetic. I feel like a filly wanting to kick out of my stall. I've been eating mostly a vegetarian diet and I haven't had any alcohol in a long while so I'm wondering if that has anything to do with the way I feel.

One of the neighbors on my weekend running route let me know that in the nearby wooded canyon there may be a mountain lion. Apparently another neighbor who walked his dog in there for years, and therefore knows what a bobcat footprint looks like has seen very large cat prints there that are NOT bobcat. It's both exciting and scary to think that one of those extraordinary creatures may be so close by. I just hope she doesn't get into trouble.

Karl the Great

I haven't run in a few days. First because of a cold, but then because of the loss of my beautiful buddy, Karl the cat. He was a majestic beast in his heyday, a great mouser and a real character. Big fluffy and gray, his hair was probably another element entirely - so we named it "foo". Karl foo got everywhere and clung to everything. He could be a total grouch and blame you for everything from the weather to the behavior of the other cats in the house. He loved catnip, raw meat of any kind and deep ear rubs. He hated rain, getting his belly tickled and being forced to stay indoors. He would bite and growl. He would also purr and cuddle. Karl was about 20 years old and will be missed by the entire neighborhood that he ruled for years. His mortal remains are at rest under our big orange tree, but I prefer to believe that his spirit is still hanging out on the deck in the sunshine, and following me around in the house.